Reflection
by dark wings alias raat ke rani
Summary: After 9 years leaving Japan, Brad came back and drown in nostalgia
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer:** Any Weiß Kreuz related characters in this ficcie belongs to me not. 

**---### Reflection ###---**

**Chapter 1**  
  
It's been so many years since I last set my feet on this land. "Japan, here I come again," I whispered slowly between my nostalgia as I stepped out from Narita International Terminal building. I looked up to the sky and felt relieved that scene greeting me still felt familiar. 

High rise buildings perched on the horizon, reaching up to the grayish sky above. Meanwhile under the concrete canopies, thousands of people in business suits walking about with their leather case in hands. On the same site of the city, girls and boys with the latest styles of fashion buzzing in and out of shopping malls and recreational areas, shouting and screaming with their perky voices. 

"Japan, here I come again," I repeated my sentence when it was my turn to take the taxi.

The cab took me to a five star hotel in downtown Tokyo. Along the way I couldn't stop myself from looking to my left and right. There was not much change. Of course there were many new buildings rising up here and there and there were already many old ones demolished. It's already many years now. How many? Let's see, ten… nine… yes, nine years since I left this country. Yes, it's been 11 years since we turned down Eszet and it was 2 years after – after the Koua incident – that I decided to leave for my own country.

Japan has always been my favorite country rather than my own home country, the US. And Tokyo still stands out as my most favorite place to be rather than New York City my home town (though I know that NYC is by no means close to the term "town"). It beats out many places in Germany where I grew as Eszet's most unflappable pet, or even Spain where I often spend my holiday when I was still in my Rozenkreuz days – also the place where I first got laid and all. It strangely turned down LA where I live now. All of those places had their own memories to remember, but nothing resembled the ones I had in here, for this country is the place where I found my reason to live.

The car finally stopped. I handed several Yen notes to the driver and told him to keep the change. He seemed surprised at my flawless Japanese. Well, he is not the only one to be surprised. I myself am surprised too. It felt strange to hear myself talking with that tongue again. Somehow nine years of absence in using the language didn't make the ability whither away. I simply stopped using it ever since I decided to fly back to America. I even started to speak to Schuldig in English then, making him pissed, though I don't know whether it was because of the language or the fact that I was going to leave.

Yes, I finally left everything behind. Everything. I left my assassin life. I left Schwarz. I left Schuldig – who now has a ranch where he lives in seclusions, save from the company of several hundred sheep in New Zealand. I left Nagi with his own decision to follow the new Persia. Well, actually it was he who first left, but it doesn't really matter now.

I didn't leave for New York. I flew to LA instead. I wanted to start something new in a place where nobody knows my name. To tell the truth, my reason was because I had this premonition that Fujimiya Aya was going to NYC. Strangely enough I decided to not come across his way and had my own peace. 

I quickly found quite a decent job at an insurance company. Now you might say that I was acting ridiculous if you know that I started out as a salesman. The money was small, but who cares, I've got a fine sum of money, precious papers and solid gold in a hidden account in Swiss. It was the job that I wanted. Now I understand why Schuldig always said that I was a workaholic. I really can't live without it. And since being a salesman was not easy and needed a lot of work, I knew I would enjoy the job.

It wasn't a surprise to see my career turning out well. Although my colleagues at the office called me as "Bad Apple Dealer" – because I came from New York and my appearance was just typical New Yorker, they somehow had to admit that I sold more. Soon I became the branch sale manager. And up and up again. Now I am assigned as the advertising division for the Pacific Region.

It's such an irony, isn't it? The villain Brad Crawford had died and is replaced by a middle class working man like me. Of course I still keep my secret account, but I barely ever touch them. I never was a posh person and am never will be. I've got a good career and my income can be considered high. I can still live a quite extravagant life to keep my face with the new income and even can still save up some. Not that I want to be an Uncle Scrooge, but I just decided to keep any unused money I have.

  
  
A nice looking lady greeted me in my front desk. Her English was stained with Japanese dialect. 

"Gu-to evening," she said while bowing a little to show respect to her guest. "Can I he-p you?"

I can't prevent myself from smiling. The Japanese has their own way of speaking English. When I first came here fifteen years ago I would have to concentrate hard in order to understand them speaking English. It was even easier to understand them in their own native language. Now I just find the Japanized English cute.

I tell her I can speak a little Japanese also and I want to practice a bit before actually using it for tomorrow's meeting. She looks delighted and somehow gives me the best service she can give. I know I can never understand the feeling to be delighted to hear one speaking in my mother tongue. English is a language that somehow has become an international tongue and somehow every child in any country is taught to speak. But I have seen the same delighted face when I speak Spanish, Cantonese, or Korean. I don't count French, German or Russian, because being a man of many blood myself, sometimes it's pretty hard to differ me from any other north European – be it be Gaelic, Normans, or Bavarian. 

Of course being able to speak a little Japanese is a big lie since Japanese is my third language after English and German. There are many compulsory languages in Eszet. And since I was assigned in Japan, it's no surprise that I master the language. I can even read the newspaper – something that out of the Schwarz members only I and (of course) Nagi could achieve. 

I suddenly find myself ushered to a suite on the 15th floor and being left alone with a king size bed ready to soothe me from the cursed jet lag. Without bothering to unpack or wash myself, I lay my body on the soft bed sheet and close my eyes. It's been nine years since I last set foot on this land. I first came here when I was as young as 23 and now I am 38. 

"Japan, here I am again," I whisper to my self just as sleep takes me in.

  
  
Morning comes a bit too late for me. Coming from a region that rises logically earlier – though by calendar being late for almost a day, I have been lying around on bed with my eyes open. I cannot blame it all on jet lag; my excitement plays almost fifty percent of it. Schuldig would have laughed to death if he had known I'm being this excited on coming back to Japan. But since that German is not here I just can ignore that thought.

Breakfast is nothing unusual. I have my canonic portion of toast, scrambled egg and a cup of black coffee. My business associates will come in any minute now. He told me that he would see me in the dining room at breakfast. Since breakfast hour is from 6.30 to 9.00 I think I will be stranded here until whenever that man shows up.

After breakfast I really don't have anything to do. I never am such a slow eater and I was done eating by seven. I don't see any reasons to stay in the dining room so I stroll myself to the lobby instead. Anyone who comes to this hotel will surely have to go through the lobby first. 

I find a nice corner where I can sit and get myself the morning paper. Since the English papers are all already gone, I take the Japanese one. Let's see what's going on around in here.

I found a very familiar face printed on the first page. The big round eyes struck me with surprise. I never thought he was going to be that big. I remember him as a little boy who could be twisted around by Schuldig. I remember his rage towards his father and brothers. It's such a surprise to see him following the exact track of life. Being the head of the Takatori Enterprise and also walking in and out of the political scene. 

That little boy has grown up into a seemingly cold man. Perhaps the me I am today is not as stern and austere as the little boy I see in the papers. Shame he has to have such a personality. I don't think a stoic and cold person as this new Tsukiyono Omi alias Takatori Mamoru is fun to play with. Or not? But I know I won't be able to just come into his office and fool around just like what Schuldig usually did in the past. Ah well, the future bears too many questions even for an oracle like me.

A shadow of a man way behind that Takatori Mamoru made me smile – I don't know why but I seem to be more relaxed lately; perhaps mingling with the "good people" has had some kind of positive effect. That's a face I am looking forward to see. Naoe Nagi. So, he is still with that Takatori now. I wonder if I can come to him and have a little talk for old time's sake. But I realize that he might still be living as a non-existent entity the way we did. If he was the legal body guard of this Mamoru-sama, he would not have to take his position in there.

Nagi, are you contented with what you are doing now? I am not going to ask if you are happy or not, that feeling was erased from our book a long, long time ago. I know I am contented with my new living. I know Farfarello is too, at least that's what he told me when I took a visit to his place two years ago. I know Schuldig is contented because he found a place where he doesn't have to bother putting up a mental barrier but still be able to live a civilized life. You are the only one I lost contact with, but I know you're still watching us from a far. I know you will keep your promise that you will always belong to Schwarz, and I know I can trust you.

"Mista- Kurafo-do?" a voice pulled me back to the ground.

I lifted my face and found a young Japanese standing before me. Hearing my name pronounced in such way really brings back a lot of memories from this land. The old Takatori also called me that way. Nagi did too when we were first met. Of course I succeeded in changing the boy's English into a flawless American accent. 

"Yes, you must be Akimoto-san." I stood and we had a formal handshake. We had a little "how was your flight – did you have a good service from the hotel – how was breakfast" sort of chat. I began to get used to such questions after I entered the insurance company. When I was still serving Takatori here, nobody bothered asking us about how we were doing and that was good. I still find those questions annoying but that's the price you've got to pay.

I then tell Akimoto-san that I have to put the key at the deposit before leaving to his office. We walk our way there. My briefcase is already at hand. I decided to bring it down with me for breakfast. I don't like wasting my time going up again to fetch a mere bag.

At the front desk I saw a lady carrying a basket full of flowers. Her posture somehow reminds me of someone but I just can't recall. 

"Excuse me," she said to the man at the front desk, "This is a flower delivery for Mrs. Liu Ping Lian. She is in room 1209. Could you please give it to her?"

"Ah the madam is just coming out of the elevator. You see the woman over there with fur coat. That's the one," the receptionist gestured to show the person he mentioned. And as the lady turned her face to see the woman she bumps into me and realizes that I am standing behind her.

She looks up to my face instead of the woman. Her lips trembles and she drops her basket full of flower to the floor. Daisies and lilies, roses and baby's breath decorating the marble. "You are…."

"Do I know you?" I ask her. But yes, I know I know her just I cannot recall who. I look into her scared raven eyes. They were black and deep. And her hair was also black, divided into two long plaits. I remember her somehow from a very long time ago. "Fujimiya…." I let out the name, "Fujimiya Aya desu ka?"

"H-hai." She muttered and then she snapped to see her flowers were all scattered on the floor. "Ah, the flowers! I have to go back to Koneko and make a new arrangement." She ducked down and gathered the flowers.

I follow her example and help her putting the flowers back into its basket. How can she remember me? Wasn't she in comatose when I made use of her? I heard that even in comatose one can still feel the presence of others but I never really believe that. 

"Do you know me?" I asked her after we finished gathering the flowers.

"I… I don't remember," she answers. "It's just when I saw you I felt somehow scared, but now the feeling is gone. I don't know why I'm acting this weird. I'm very sorry."

"It's all right," I say. I don't know how I can be so nice towards a person who knows my past. If she somehow remembers and start talking around, my background can be revealed.

"But you know my name. Have we met before?" she asks rather shyly. 

I nodded, "Yes, a very long time ago. But you were still in comatose."

She steps back. "Are you…?" She doesn't finish her question. It hangs in the air until Akimoto-san suddenly reminds me that we have to go. 

I assume she recalls a story about this strange cult willing to make her as a sacrifice. I cannot blame her if she throws all the flowers on me and run away but she never does so. She simply stands in there in silence with both eyes plastered on me. 

"Yes, I am," I give her the only answer I can talk about and then I reach out my hand for a hand shake. "Brad Crawford."

She looks astonished to hear my introduction but she smiles in return and answers my hand shake. "Fujimiya Aya."

"You are not going to sue me for anything, aren't you?" I ask her in a rather dry tone of humor. I have to act out somehow so that Akimoto-san will not ask me anything. I see the questions are already popping in his head and surely I will have to answer all of them on our way to his office.

The lady shakes her head.

"Then can we meet again sometime? I have three days before I have to fly to Taiwan. I think I need to clarify many things to you."

She nods. "You can find me at…."

"Koneko no Sumuie. The flower shop," I cut right through. I remember that place. "Is it still at that hook building near a coffee shop and a book store?" I still have the shop clearly pictured on my head. I never really went there but I know.

"Yes."

"Fine then. I will make a visit around 5 o'clock. Is it still open?"

She gives yet another nod and then I have to follow Akimoto-san who starts to flood me with his questions.

"I never know you are a fluent Japanese speaker, Kurafo-do-san. Who is that woman? Is she your friend? She looks pretty nice for my point of view. What's her name again? Fujimiya Aya? Such a sweet name, isn't it?"  
Now this is going to be a long, long drive to the office.

- to be continued -

Nya!! What is this???!!! A fic about old Braddy boy!!! Hehehe... Isn't 38 old? He's almost 40!!!! But still I find Brad quite amusing when he gets to his 40's... well, Pierce Brosnan and Mel Gibson are also old, but they're still hot. Nya nya nya!! 

So...? Comments? Reviews? Simply hit the small button and I'll thank you.... ^____^


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** all Weiß Kreuz related characters belong to me not...!!

**---### Reflection ###---**

**Chapter 2  
**  
I made my way to the Koneko as soon as my meeting was finished. It was not a very big deal to have everything finished before five and now I am standing at the door of the flower shop. It is still the old building where the four Weiß used to live. It was also the place they used as the head quarter. Where Weiß head quarters is now, it's none of my concern. I just feel a bit funny to come here this evening to meet a former victim.

I take a deep breath before finally pushing the door open and enter the shop. The bells on the top of the door frames are jingling to tell whoever taking care of the shop to notice me. A young boy shows up from the back door. He was a bit surprised to see a white man entering the shop. He must be very nervous to think about speaking English. In a few moments now he's going to stutter in his Japanized English. There he goes.

"A… Irashaimase… anou… I-I m-mean, whe-rucome. C-can I he-p you, Sa-?" He bows low. I can see a tint of blush on his cheeks. A person like this would be fun to play with if I were Schuldig. Lucky for him that I am not that little red head. I am Brad Crawford and I don't fool around with useless people like this one.

I choose not to answer. I less than 2 seconds after he finishes the sentence, Aya will show up from the door and….

"Kurafodo-san!" She turns to the boy and says, "He's a friend of mine, Hikaru-kun. Are you going to bow forever?" She giggles. Her eyes give out twinkle. She then turns back to me and says, "Come in. We can sit inside. I'll prepare some tea if you like. Or perhaps some coffee?"

I don't see any threat around. I don't see my life become endangered if I accept her offer. I give her a nod and follow her to the kitchen. The kitchen is not very big but it looks very inviting. A very homey kitchen indeed. It's true, perhaps, that a woman in the house will make the place homey. There's a small round dining table at one corner with a very nice pot of flowers. The room is also filled with many kinds of flowers. It makes the air feels somehow fresher.

"Please have a seat," she says, "Which do you prefer, coffee or tea?" Her smile is still plastered on her cheerful face. 

"Just tea," I answer while my eyes follow her every gestures.

How different she is from her older brother. I remember the other Aya as a very cold looking person. Even until the last time I saw him, I don't remember if I ever saw him smile. At least I smirked quite often on the irony in my everyday life. That man didn't. I find this little fact somehow amusing. It makes me wonder how the male Aya was had he not joined Weiß.

"Here you go." Aya puts a tray on the table. She takes one cup for me and pours some tea. The fresh fragrance of Japanese green tea fills the air. She then put several slices of cake at the table and then sits in front of me. She helps herself with the tea and then asks me if I want some sugar or milk. 

When she has done with everything she looks at me in the eyes and asks what I need to talk to her about. I become a bit uneasy that I have to take a deep breath several times before I settle my mind to say anything. I feel like a man who is about to make a proposal to a girl he likes and I just feel so stupid being this awkward before the girl.

"Look, what I want to say is," I finally open my mouth. I take another deep breath and continued, "I might have done wrong to you and therefore I think I owe you my apology for dragging you into that plot. I think I owe you my thanks as well." 

Now I know why it was very hard to say those words. I am not very keen in asking for forgiveness, I don't even like to feel sorry about anything either. Saying sorry is like submitting myself to someone else. It makes me feel defeated to the bone and makes me feel like being one of those useless people I got rid of in the past.

The young woman stares back at me with her wondering black eyes. 

"Look, what ever I have done to you in the past was not 100% my intention. " I continue. I don't know why but the next excuses come easier from my mouth. It feels like I'm being a stupid bastard asking for mercy from a diva girl or something. The only thing is that I refuse to be a bastard and the woman before me is not a diva. "I was doing as it was ordered from the head of my organization then."

And like being under a strange spell I somehow keep on talking about the past I have long left behind. I tell her about the Eszet and how I came to join them. I tell her about why I used the name Schwarz for my team. I explain the every details of my plan to get rid the three old siblings, including how I made use of Sakura's and her similarity. After I tell her everything about my past with Eszet I fall silent and start to stir the tea. I really don't know what to do. 

Aya is also looking at her tea cup, her fingers playing on the edge of the cup, turning the cup like her fingers move. She will be talking later. I can see it already in my mind, but I fail to hear what she is going to say. I only know is that I don't see her angry. Her face shows no trace of anger. She's somehow a very different personality than from any other that I have encountered.

"Anou, Kurafodo-san," she finally speaks. Her face is still down and her fingers are still playing with the porcelain tea cup. "I really don't know what to say…. I mean, hearing all of this from you. I… I mean, I have heard from Sakura-chan, but this is something different."

I can see tears welling at the corner of her eyes. OK, perhaps I was saying a bit too much. But I myself don't understand the urge to tell her about those many things I have kept hidden for a long time. Perhaps it's because she's one of the pieces of my past, perhaps because I want to ask for… forgiveness. I have done so much in the past and since my list of sins consist mostly of murder; I don't think I have many people to ask forgiveness to. Well, perhaps after I die later. But how long do I have to wait for that? I cannot foresee my death.

"You don't have to say anything," I finally say, "I just want to tell you my version of truth. It is up to you to believe my story or not." I continue, "I was not a good person, and maybe I'm still not. I really don't expect anything from you. I just want to clarify things. It's OK if you want to hate me. You deserve it."

The woman shakes her head. "I… I don't know what to say. I mean, it's been such a long time and suddenly you are before me. Even onii-san never tells me the story himself. He's much too deluded with his obsessions. And one day he just went away," she starts to sob, "He promised to tell me the whole story of why and how. But he suddenly left and he never tried to contact me."

I look at her in awe. I have just told her about her kidnapping and now what she's talking about, her own brother. It's not that I'm jealous… well, I am. I mean he's a person I wanted to get level with anyway. But what's actually going on in here? I thought all of those Weiß members were considerate people who would share with each other freely. That's what I strived for. That's why I left my old life behind and start a new. This is really news for me. The persons I want to be level with, the persons I set as my semi model figure to start my life are actually fake! And even the one I respect most somehow abandon the person he said he wanted to protect. This news is such an irony. I can't suppress my laugh and I feel that it is quite hysterical.

"So that's the real Fujimiya Ran?" I ask in the middle of my burst, "Then this is all a joke!" I stand up and look down to Aya who is looking back at me. She looks scared to see my burst. Maybe this double shock is just too much for her. No, maybe I am crazy; I'm just able to keep it hidden. "I guess there's no use in talking in here. Farewell, Miss."

I take my leave as soon as possible. I bump into Hikaru who is just going to enter the kitchen to ask if there's anything wrong. He's going to soothe Aya somehow. I see it coming. She will be fine. She's a strong girl but she needs to burst sometimes. I'm just unlucky because I was playing with fire and got burned. She bursts her worries before me. Unlucky me. But that woman, somehow she didn't show any hatred towards me. Or was it because her mind was too clouded with the matter of her missing brother?

I pace my way back to the hotel.

  
  
I keep on turning on my bed the whole night. Even if I try to close my eyes, sleep doesn't take me in. It somehow abandons me and leaves me tossing and turning in the middle of the night. I can't stop thinking about what happened at the Koneko. I cannot forget those teary eyes and the muttering lips. The movements of the lips said "onii-san", brother. Aya. Fujimiya Aya. Not the raven head, it's the red head that I'm thinking about. Fujimiya Ran.

I still remember the first time I met him. I regarded him as a weak and slow person. He was raged with fury, willing to revenge for his parents and only sister. He was so easy to defeat. But there came the second encounter, and then the third, and then the fourth. I somehow realized that I had underestimated him. He proofed to be an interesting enemy; something that would always be tailing from behind so you would always try hard to step forward. And then one day I realized that he had moved a step forward from me. No, it wasn't about the physical power. I know that I can easily defeat him if I want to. It's about his stubbornness and his belief. 

It's not that I share a common belief with him. Trust me; I am not going to share the belief of sacrificing myself to be a sinner so that others can live happily. No way. That's too clichéd. The way he strives to survive, that is. That's why I respect him that I somehow decided to just move out and made a new start. 

But hearing what Aya has said this evening, "Onii-san is much too deluded with his obsession." I know what kind of obsession she was talking about. It must be about the cross he has to bear by killing people. Has Ran fell into the fun of murdering others? No, I don't think that's the point. Perhaps he's getting drowned in the concept of killing the bad guys. He's drowned in his own concept of justice. But really, Ran, does your concept really exist?

I have fought him many times. And in each of our fights we always have this little "why are you doing this" sort of chat. You may find it crazy but that's all the fun in fighting him. The other Weiß didn't speak as much as him when fighting. They were too absorbed in giving a payback, to anyone – hey, Schwarz had nothing to do with Ken's soccer incident but still he fought Farfarello mentioning it. Ran somehow ceased speaking about revenge after our first encounter. He talked mostly of justice and protecting the weak. It amused me to see him messing around with my concept of evolution and survival.

True he was still willing to revenge for his family. But as time went by, he became this stubborn yet interesting persona I liked. That's why I chose him to be my opponent. The other Weiß would be far more boring. With Ran, it's like a mutual chat in the middle of a fight. Now, you can really call me crazy. But once again, are we all not?

I grab for my watch from the bedside table. It's already some minutes past two. I really have to get some sleep now. I have a meeting early in the morning and I don't want to spoil anything. Especially not with this haunting past. Really.

I close my eyes shut; ready to count the imaginary lambs in my mind; when I suddenly remember the picture of the crying girl again. Perhaps I should meet her again before I leave for Taiwan. There are things I want to ask her on Weiß' whereabouts. I want to know what exactly happened after I left for America. I really have to meet the girl again. 

- to be continued -  


Umm.... When I started to write the fic I wanted to make Brad and Aya-chan as a pair... but somehow I failed miserably. My beta told me that I put several hints on BradxSchu and I realized I really did it on the first chapter (No, Moussy, I saw the hints too).... And on this 2nd chap I found several BradxAya-kun hints. So? I think it's gonna be changed into Brad-centered ficcie. That's the only thing I can think about for now. 

For tea drinker out there, I'm not sure whether or not there's Japanese green tea (dried tea leaves - not fermented) ... I'm a massive coffee drinker (about 4 cups a day, and even after drinking a bottle of Red Bull energy drink, I would soon fall asleep).... And some of you might guess why Brad decided to have tea instead of coffee, perhaps he's more health conscious lately and realized that although a cup of coffee a day is good for your health to keep your concentration level, it's going to ruin your body piece by piece sooner or later when you're taking it too much.... But decaffeinated coffee is not coffee at all..... Long live Robusta!!! 


End file.
